Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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