I wannas sexs uuuuu
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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