butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I faked an abortion last night.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
