After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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