I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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