Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
