Need sex. Gaining weight.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
