i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
