She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
