hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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