So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
