ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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