whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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