Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm sobbing to NWA
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
