In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
