You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
