I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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