I could make wine with my vomit
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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