You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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