is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
