I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
