You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
