Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
