Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
