Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
