I think i sorta joined a cult last night
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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