How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
