I wish I could teleport
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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