Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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