So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
