My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm going to jail i love you
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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