No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
