oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
