You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
