Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
