Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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