dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
