Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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