Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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