there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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