I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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