literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
