S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize
