is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
