some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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