I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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