the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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