Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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