Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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