...so i touched it.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
