How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
