do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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