Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
