you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
