So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize