i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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