What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
