hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
