bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
