god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
